I am Saved

February 3, 2009

My father was a minister. From my earliest memories, I was taught that Jesus was the Son of God. He did live, he did come to earth, and he did give his life for others and I believed that…for awhile.

My father, the unwavering patriarch of our small family, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) at 27 years old. He died three short years later. Within the next ten years, my mother turned away from her faith in God and turned to alcohol. She was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder during this time, abused her medication, and lived a worldly life. Chaos reigned in our family so, at 17, I left home and decided to pave my own road. Sadly, ten years to the night of my father’s death, my mother was killed in an automobile accident. At that time, I was living in another state and was 19 years old.

It wasn’t long before I found myself at rock bottom. I questioned where God was during the times I needed Him most. My father was a faithful preacher, yet God let him die a slow, agonizing death. Where was the justice in that? Why did he leave two young children with a woman who could barely take care of herself? So many questions with so few answers left me bruised and disgusted with religion. It didn’t keep my father alive. It didn’t keep my mother healthy. It pushed me away from everything I had been taught and left me alone and helpless. It left a taste so bitter that I wanted no part in it, yet it kept gnawing at me. I couldn’t shake the memory of my father’s faith. Why his final sermon, sitting in a wheelchair and barely able to speak, was full of hope and encouragement to those in the crowd. How could I get to where he had gotten? I had nowhere else to turn but to Scripture so that is where I started.

I went in search of every version of the Bible I could find. Gathered pens and notebooks and started reading, highlighting and taking notes. I read the book of Acts and the Epistles over and over. The story of Paul mesmerized me. A former persecutor turned persecuted, yet he never gave up despite the Devil’s constant attacks. I thought of my own father, another Paul in a different time. How he was assaulted by a relatively new illness, yet was optimistic until the end. Was the devil behind his affliction? Was he trying to destroy my father in order to destroy others in the faith? My father was not deterred. He even spoke of the advantage of being terminally ill. I remembered how I was told that my mother returned to her faith in God shortly before her death. Why did she feel it necessary?

I spent weeks and months going over the words in black and red. Was it really true? Could it really have happened? The more I read, the more fervently I prayed. I looked back on my brief life and the many mistakes that had ensued. Was there a better place, a better life, and would I be a fool not to find out for sure? I took the words from that book and read them in a different light. Not in a happy Sunday school, life is perfect setting. This time it was urgent and my life depended on it. I needed answers and had looked for them too long in the world only to come up, again and again, empty-handed.

It was there in the words of Jesus that I found hope. The inspired words of the New Testament is where I saw my future. The ancient, Holy words of the Old Testament is where I found a connection with other seekers. For years I had drifted through the technicalities of life searching for my place in this world, yet it was when I stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on the life, love, and sacrifice of Jesus that I finally got it. I understood that I wasn’t alone in this world even though that was the way I chose to live. He waited for me to realize that fact and welcomed me home. I did belong to Him. I was a part of His church. Everything started to make perfect sense.

Jesus took a reckless soul and gave me a purpose and a will. He showed me where I belong and set me on a course. He taught me through His word, that with Him, I will prevail and promised never to forsake me. He assured me that once I am finished here, He has a home prepared for me. I know where I belong now. I have the answers that I need to survive this life and I am content. He saved me.

Are you looking for peace, hope, or a future? Trust me, you won’t find them in the world. You will, however, find them in the Bible. It is there you will find your purpose, your destination, and your salvation. It is there you will find Jesus.

Entry Filed under: Bible,Bible Study,Lost,Prayer,Salvation,Saved,the church of Christ,the church of God,the Faith,the Lord's Church. Posted in  Bible ,Bible Study ,Lost ,Prayer ,Salvation ,Saved ,the church of Christ ,the church of God ,the Faith ,the Lord's Church .



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